must walk and swim more often...

The safest place in the universe is in the center of God's will.

It has always been my ambition to preach the gospel where Christ was not known, so that I would not be building on someone else's foundation.

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¹⁴How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? ¹⁵And how can they preach unless they are sent? As it is written, "How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!"

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¹⁹Though I am free and belong to no man, I make myself a slave to everyone, to win as many as possible. ²⁰To the Jews I became like a Jew, to win the Jews. To those under the law I became like one under the law (though I myself am not under the law), so as to win those under the law. ²¹To those not having the law I became like one not having the law (though I am not free from God's law but am under Christ's law), so as to win those not having the law.²²To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all men so that by all possible means I might save some.²³I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in its blessings.

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A conversation between me and my 4-year-old nephew last night.

Queen: So, Justin what do you want to become when you grow up?

*Justin thinking intently*

Justin: I want to be a doctor..

Queen: And why do you want to be a doctor?

Justin: Because I want to treat the sick people.

Queen: Are you sure about that?

*Justin thinks again*

Justin: I don't want to be a doctor anymore, I want to be a soldier.

*Justin grabs one of my books and he pretended it was a gun*

Queen: Ooohh, so why do you want to be a soldier?

Justin: Because....*thinks again*..I want to catch the thieves.

Queen: Really? What do thieves do?

Justin: They steal..

Queen: And what does stealing mean?

Justin: No, Tita I don't want to be a soldier anymore..I want to be a policeman.

Queen: Wait, why? What's the difference between a soldier and a policeman?

Justin: So that I can REALLY catch the thieves because I'm a police.

*motions like his one of the Power Rangers*

*Queen is starting to lose hope*

Queen: Are you finally sure about that? about becoming a policeman?

*long pause*

Justin: I changed my mind. I just want to be a HUMAN BEING.

*Queen laughs*

(and while I'm typing this he is behind me, playing with his cars and pretending that my back is a highway. Nice job, justin)

I have to prepare myself when his younger brother, Marquin grows up.

So whats the point of sharing this story?

It's just being sure of who you really want to be. It's knowing that desire God planted in your heart. It's knowing what you were made to do, and who you were made for and where you are headed.

One thing I realized tonight is that, My Romans 15:20 goes together with my desire to become a teacher. Jim Elliot, Elizabeth Elliot, Hudson Taylor and Amy Carmichael, Elizabeth Scott Stam, they are my heroes. Yes, I wanna be involved in pioneer missions work, God-willing.

I rest assure in the perfect will of my King. I know I'm in the safest place that I could possibly be.

This is a poem by Betty Stam.

Speaks of how I am feeling at this point of my life.

Stand Still and See

I'm standing, Lord:

There is a mist that blinds my sight.

Steep, jagged rocks, front, left and right,

Lower, dim, gigantic, in the night.

Where is the way?

I'm standing, Lord;

The black rock hems me in behind,

Above my head a moaning wind

Chills and oppresses heart and mind.

I am afraid!

I'm standing, Lord:

The rock is hard beneath my feet;

I nearly slipped, Lord, on the sleet.

So weary, Lord! and where a seat?

Still must I stand?

He answered me, and on His face

A look ineffable of grace,

Of perfect, understanding love,

Which all my murmuring did remove.

I'm standing, Lord:

Since Thou hast spoken, Lord I see

Thou hast beset—these rocks are Thee!

And since Thy love encloses me,

I stand and sing.

Elizabeth Scott Stam

While I was walking home a while ago, I told God I want Him to fetch me at that very moment. As in, I was almost ready to call chariots of fire from Heaven to escort me to my King. As usual, I did a lot of thinking before that prayer. I was asking God, "If Heaven is my final destination, why can't I just go there NOW?". Sigh.

This is my prayer..

"Lord, I give up all my own plans and purposes, all my own desires and hopes, and accept Thy will for my life. I give myself, my life, my all utterly to Thee to be Thine forever. Fill me and seal me with Thy Holy Spirit. Use me as Thou wilt. Send me where Thou wilt. Work out Thy whole will in my life at any cost, now and forever."

18-year-old Elizabeth Scott Stam

(Her prayer that I love so much that it ended up at the cover page of my Bible.)

I have to spend more time SON-bathing.

Sigh.

Journeying with you,

Queen