EQ anyone?

Signs of High EQ

A person with High EQ:

• Expresses his feelings clearly and directly with three word sentences beginning with "I feel..."
• Does not diguise thoughts as feelings by the use of "I feel like...." and "I feel that...." sentences.
• Is not afraid to express her feelings.
• Is not dominated by negative emotions such as:

  Fear, Worry, Guilt, Shame, Embarrassment, Obligation, Disappointment, Hopelessness, Powerlessness,
   Dependency, Victimization, Discouragement

• Is able to read non-verbal communication.
• Lets his feelings lead him to healthy choices and happiness.
• Balances feelings with reason, logic, and reality.
• Acts out of desire, not because of duty, guilt, force or obligation.
• Is independent, self-reliant and morally autonomous.
• Is intrinsically motivated.
• Is not motivated by power, wealth, status, fame, or approval.
• Is emotionally resilient.
• Tends to feel optimistic, but is also realistic, and can feel pessimistic at times.
• Does not internalize failure.
• Is interested in other people's feelings.
• Is comfortable talking about feelings.
• Is not immobilized by fear or worry.
• Is able to identify multiple concurrent feelings.

Signs of Low EQ

A person with Low EQ:

• Doesn't take responsibilities for his feelings; but blames you or others for them.
• Can't put together three word sentences starting with "I feel..."
• Can't tell you why she feels the way she does, or can't do it without blaming someone else.
• Attacks, blames, commands, criticizes, interrupts, invalidates, lectures, advises and judges you and others.
• Tries to analyze you, for example when you express your feelings.
• Often begins sentences with "I think you..."
• Sends "you messages" disgused as "I feel messages" For example, "I feel like you ...."
• Lays guilt trips on you.
• Withholds information about or lies about his feelings. (Emotional dishonesty)
• Exaggerates or minimizes her feelings.
• Lets things build up, then they blow up, or react strongly to something relatively minor.
• Lacks integrity and a sense of conscience.
• Carries grudges; is unforgiving.
• Doesnt tell you where you really stand with her.
• Is uncomfortable to be around.
• Acts out his feelings, rather than talking them out.
• Plays games; is indirect or evasive.
• Is insensitive to your feelings.
• Has no empathy, no compassion.
• Is rigid, inflexible; needs rules and structure to feel secure.
• Is not emotionally available; offers little chance of emotional intimacy.
• Does not consider your feelings before acting.
• Does not consider their own future feelings before acting.
• Is insecure and defensive and finds it hard to admit mistakes, express remorse, or apologize sincerely.
• Avoids responsibility by saying things like: "What was I supposed to do? I had no choice!
• Holds many distorted and self-destructive beliefs which cause persistent negative emotions
• May be overly pessimistic; may invalidate others' joy.
• Or may be overly optimistic, to the point of being unrealistic and invalidating of others' legitimate fears.
• Frequently feels inadequate, disappointed, resentful, bitter or victimized.
• Locks himself into courses of action against common sense, or jumps ship at the first sight of trouble.
• Avoids connections with people and seeks substitute relationships with everything from pets and plants to imaginary beings.
• Rigidly clings to his beliefs because he is too insecure to be open to new facts.
• Can tell you the details of an event, and what they think about it, but can't tell you how she feels about it.
• Uses his intellect to judge and criticize others without realizing he is feeling superior, judgmental, critical, and without awareness of how his actions impact others' feelings.
• Is a poor listener. Interrupts. Invalidates. Misses the emotions being communicated. Focusses on "facts" rather than feelings.

Adapted from EQ for Everybody by Steve Hein, 1996,
The EQ Institute, http://eqi.org

--> i still think Im on the Low side.