involvement, vulnerability..

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket- safe, dark, motionless, airless--it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.”
-Clive Staples Lewis, "Four Loves"

I was reminded of this quote this afternoon. I was thinking about Mutya, my precious cactus and the pain I felt when she died. Other people don't understand why I felt that way. They almost always think it's stupid. But as I was thinking about it, I realized that the pain I felt losing my Mutya is the same pain a mother may feel if she loses her child, its the same as losing your old pet dog over a senseless driving accident. The common link would be that we loved, Mutya, the child and the pet dog.


Lately, I have been crying a lot about petty things and big things. I was asking myself why I'm hurting this way. I wasn't like this last year. And then it struck me, the reason was because this is the time of my life wherein I am deliberately involved in the lives of other people.
I chose to love them and this decision placed me in a very risky and very vulnerable ground. It wasn't easy, in fact, is wasn't meant to be easy. Most of the time it's awkward and the decision is not one-time, it's a daily decision to love. Choosing to love will not guarantee the love of the people I'm choosing to love yet it's rewarding, worthwhile and most of all Biblical.

Today I Choose

I CHOOSE LOVE

No occasion justifies hatred; no injustice warrants bitterness,. I choose love. Today I will love God and what God loves.

I CHOOSE JOY

I will invite my God to be the God of circumstance. I will refuse the temptations to be cynical...the tool of the lazy thinker. I will refuse to see people as anything less than human beings, created by God. I will refuse to see any problems as anything less than an opportunity to see God.

I CHOOSE PEACE

I will live forgiven. I will forgive so that I may live.

I CHOOSE PATIENCE

I will overlook the inconveniences of the world. Instead of cursing the one who takes my place, I'll invite him to do so. Rather than complain that the wait is too long. I will thank God for a moment to pray. Instead of clinching my fist at new assignments. I will face them with joy and courage.

I CHOOSE KINDNESS

I will be kind to the poor, for they are alone. Kind to the rich, for they are afraid. And kind to the unkind, for such is how God has treated me.

I CHOOSE GOODNESS

I will go without a dollar before I take a dishonest one. I will be overlooked before I will boast. I will confess before I will accuse. I choose goodness

I CHOOSE FAITHFULNESS

Today I will keep my promises. My debtors will not regret their trust. My associates will not question my word. My wife/hsuband will not question my love. And my children will never fear that their fathers will not come home.

I CHOOSE GENTLENESS

Nothing is won by force. I chhose to be gentle. If I rasie my voice may it be only in praise. If i clench my fist, may it be only in prayer. If I make a demand, may it be only of myself.

I CHOOSE SELF-CONTROL

I am a spiritual being. After this body is dead, my spirit will soar. I refuse to let what will rot, rule the eternal. I choose self-control. I will be drunk only by joy. I will be impassioned only by my faith. I will be influenced only by God. I will be taught only by Christ. I choose self-control.

Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. To these I commit my day. if I succeed, I will give thanks. If I fail, I will seek his grace. And the, when this day is done. I will place my head on my pillow and rest...

-Max Lucado, "Grace for the moment"