involvement, vulnerability..

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket- safe, dark, motionless, airless--it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.”
-Clive Staples Lewis, "Four Loves"

I was reminded of this quote this afternoon. I was thinking about Mutya, my precious cactus and the pain I felt when she died. Other people don't understand why I felt that way. They almost always think it's stupid. But as I was thinking about it, I realized that the pain I felt losing my Mutya is the same pain a mother may feel if she loses her child, its the same as losing your old pet dog over a senseless driving accident. The common link would be that we loved, Mutya, the child and the pet dog.


Lately, I have been crying a lot about petty things and big things. I was asking myself why I'm hurting this way. I wasn't like this last year. And then it struck me, the reason was because this is the time of my life wherein I am deliberately involved in the lives of other people.
I chose to love them and this decision placed me in a very risky and very vulnerable ground. It wasn't easy, in fact, is wasn't meant to be easy. Most of the time it's awkward and the decision is not one-time, it's a daily decision to love. Choosing to love will not guarantee the love of the people I'm choosing to love yet it's rewarding, worthwhile and most of all Biblical.

Today I Choose

I CHOOSE LOVE

No occasion justifies hatred; no injustice warrants bitterness,. I choose love. Today I will love God and what God loves.

I CHOOSE JOY

I will invite my God to be the God of circumstance. I will refuse the temptations to be cynical...the tool of the lazy thinker. I will refuse to see people as anything less than human beings, created by God. I will refuse to see any problems as anything less than an opportunity to see God.

I CHOOSE PEACE

I will live forgiven. I will forgive so that I may live.

I CHOOSE PATIENCE

I will overlook the inconveniences of the world. Instead of cursing the one who takes my place, I'll invite him to do so. Rather than complain that the wait is too long. I will thank God for a moment to pray. Instead of clinching my fist at new assignments. I will face them with joy and courage.

I CHOOSE KINDNESS

I will be kind to the poor, for they are alone. Kind to the rich, for they are afraid. And kind to the unkind, for such is how God has treated me.

I CHOOSE GOODNESS

I will go without a dollar before I take a dishonest one. I will be overlooked before I will boast. I will confess before I will accuse. I choose goodness

I CHOOSE FAITHFULNESS

Today I will keep my promises. My debtors will not regret their trust. My associates will not question my word. My wife/hsuband will not question my love. And my children will never fear that their fathers will not come home.

I CHOOSE GENTLENESS

Nothing is won by force. I chhose to be gentle. If I rasie my voice may it be only in praise. If i clench my fist, may it be only in prayer. If I make a demand, may it be only of myself.

I CHOOSE SELF-CONTROL

I am a spiritual being. After this body is dead, my spirit will soar. I refuse to let what will rot, rule the eternal. I choose self-control. I will be drunk only by joy. I will be impassioned only by my faith. I will be influenced only by God. I will be taught only by Christ. I choose self-control.

Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. To these I commit my day. if I succeed, I will give thanks. If I fail, I will seek his grace. And the, when this day is done. I will place my head on my pillow and rest...

-Max Lucado, "Grace for the moment"

Wishies..

Canon EOS 5d Mark III
very very yummy

Of course I still am in awe of my eyes like I said before it is the best camera in the universe and yet I cant help sighing whenever I see this baby. Oh Lord, I wait for your precious timing. Obviously, I cant afford to buy one of this and even if I can afford it I will not buy for the full-price. Good thing, My King owns all things and I can ask him to provide it for free or for little cost. Thanks Randy Alcorn, for discipling me through your study of the Book.

Canon Powershot D10
underwater baby

Im a big fan of underwater photography. I also enjoy swimming and swimming and swimming and more swimming. Here's a good evidence of me being an Aqualung.

I believe Princess Ariel when she said that there a
whole new world underwater.

These are the two cameras I wanna own.

By now you may have noticed that I'm a huge Canon fan. I super love the user-friendliness of their stuff.

To my future kiddies, I will meet you soon.

The curliness factoid

There's no better way to "open" this new outlet of my brain than talking about my strangely beautiful mess of complicated and totally twisted hair.(Try saying that ten times while jumping and texting all at the same time.)

We found 65% of women have naturally curly/wavy hair, mostly Brown. While 35% are naturally straight!

--from http://answers.kgb.com/what-percentage-of-people-in-the-world-have-naturally-straight-hair/1763357

SO yeah,I am a naturally curly headed kid. Both my parents are curly tops. Only one of my sibling has super-duper-mirror-shiny hair better than Anniston. Growing up, I hated my hair, no, I loathed my hair. I often wished it was straight so that my mom don't have to wake up at 4am just to "fix" my hair. Most of my gradeschool years I looked like Jolina Magdangal or Ms. No Good. I had cornrows, millions of candy-colored scrunchies, headbands and oh yeah, my mom always braids my hair, to tame the frizz-ies I think.

Back then, I brushed my hair believing the myth that "one must brush her hair a hundred times a day" only to find out that my hair is angered by this activity. Hayy,I end up disappointed and more angered frizz-ies to loathe.

I was oblivious of how my hair really looked like minus the frizz, perm, scrunchies and braids until two years ago. It was my last straight perm, after discovering the site Naturally Curly, I became curious as to what my hair really looked like. The ladies in that site has a certain glow when they finally embraced their curliness.

So I made the risky decision to quit perming my hair, let it grow out and chop my hair once it reached my collar bone.

2 loooooooooooooonnnggggg years later, one late night last October 2009 before going home I went to a local salon to part with my horse-like-permed-ends. I told my stylist to just chop off the straight hair. I wish I was more specific but putting a dotted line where my curls and straight-ies meet so that he could cut along the lines. To my horror he cut my hair very bluntly encouraging the volume even more. You see a curly top like me cannot and I mean CANNOT have a blunt haircut, they magnify the already exaggerated volume of my curls. There was no remedy, my haircut was way above my collarbone so I cannot ask him to layer it. Oh well.

Four months since that horrifying night, I gain new friends. To this day I consumed four bottles of VO5 Curling Mousse, 3 bottles of Schwarzkopf Zero frizz 100% rescue conditioner and still one bottle for next month, half a bottle of Herbal Essences Totally Twisted Conditioner and 2 packs of Kolours hair dye. Also, I use my fingers to detangle so I only combed my hair twice since October. :)
I learned plopping too, which made me look like Queen Amidala daily after I shower.

I am yet try out the CG method, maybe after I finish my last bottle of Zero-frizz. Im excited!

Im loving my curls because God coiled them individually and that makes me feel special. :)

last straight perm 2007

and......

curls unleashed
forever keeping her curls