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The Wilderness of Loneliness

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 Smack dab in the wilderness of Loneliness

Lately, I have been pretty much lonely. I often thought of past lovers and almost-lovers and how things could have turned out differently if I did this, and that. I stalked these oblivious men. I tracked their statuses and photos to see their ladies. Pathetic, I know. Still, I would continue on and bask in self-pity. My brain would burst in inquiries of the things I did wrong and those which I did not do. I would relive the past in my head, trying to comprehend and to remember.

A life of celibacy and single hood scared me. As a matter of fact, it continues to haunt me. I could not, for the life of me, embrace this sort of life. It is frightening.

Reeking of desperation and low self-esteem, I looked to others for validation. I wanted to be wanted. I needed to be needed. I loved to be loved. What a fool I had been! Someone wants me, loves me, and is serious enough to have a hankering for a relationship with me. Unbelievable!

He, too, endured the long road of loneliness. He suffered a great deal. It was truly painful and he did it to please his Daddy. He is a superhuman, a love machine, the most beautiful thing the world has ever seen. And he wants me, my entirety. Oh love is never blind... it sees.